Sinanation

The warm-up set I prepared to a recent crazy night we had in Bebek with my closest friends. The main set is a bit longer, but I’ll try to post it here too as soon as possible.

You need to get a massage. Whatever good you heard is true. Asia is a pro in this business. Be sure to pick a nice place though as some spots might not be “fully hygiene”. Guys make sure you describe well what kind of a “massage” you are looking for.

I envy people who are not dependent on any skin products. I was 12 years-old the last time I had that kind of freedom. I always thought as a guy I would be able to pass on the dreadful skin care sessions to the ladies, but I keep getting hit with disappointment and I am forced to used medicated stuff to keep my skin healthy.

The pimples knocked on the door during the teens and stayed longer than expected. Unhealthy squeezing habit behind the mirror became unavoidable to be able to look best in the worst case scenario. Dandruff was next. Head & Shoulders became the new best friend. Pityriasis Rosea on the cheeks was the big jump into the adulthood: A sunburn-ish irritation with abnormal peeling afterwards covered the face whenever I sweated, stressed and/or drank a lot of red wine. Special soaps and creams with a small amount of cortisone were the ultimate saviour. Hair loss couldn’t have been any early. Regular hair treatment was recommended by the experts. Extreme dryness on the face and ankles came uninvited with the move to America. Un-scented, completely natural creams filled up the bathroom cupboard. The beauty marks on my back became too many to not notice. Dermatologists prescribed and forced heavy sunscreen under the sun. I guess the most recent gift of aging is Puritus, which comes by after each shower. Gives this unavoidable itchy skin below my knees for not more than 30 min. The only solution seems to be avoiding hot water and shampoos with Sodium lauryl sulphate, a chemical derived from coconut, that gives the cleaning products their foamy character.

The best part of it all is that not all work and I still have to use them because there isn’t any alternative.

Take me back to the days when I can just wash and go.

Mark Zuckerberg made it happen. I don’t know the guy personally or read his bio, but have to assume that anyone intelligent enough to speak Computerish that well will have to have some kind of a geekness in him. Thats is why I think of the guy as the real life version of all those geek movies based on revenge. A genius not so popular in school pauses to give a second look at the horrifying corridors and says “one day all your ‘cool’ness will go through me”.

The most terrifying testament for a student not so strong in social skills is the graduation yearbook. The stress of being acknowledged as a “good” friend by a couple of buddies who can manage to write a few words about their time with you and how they wish to be wherever you are in the future is enough to feed a clan of amateur drivers parallel parking for the first time. The genius of being able to take that most valued tradition off the shelf and spread it into the most accessible platform of our time is priceless and Zuckerberg made it happen. With an extremely satisfied grin on his face the lucky visionary genius of Harvard Undergrad sat back on his worn-out study chair and watched all the cool college kids, other geniuses, quarterbacks, soccer players, models, sexy girls, socialites, actresses and billionaires sign up to his glorified yearbook, the Facebook.

The geek made it happen and we all became addicted. In the early hours of a dull office day, after clubbing, before jogging, at the climax of a strain in the restroom, during a big fight with a girlfriend, in despair and in happiness we log in to this artificial heaven of insomnia. With a glance at its personalized welcome page, we feel proud, burn with jealousy, crawl with disappointment, are provoked with the desire to imitate and/or get into a frenzy of daydreaming. We are all stamped with the feel of our Facebook accounts. It is hard to admit, but we are all there all the time. On our computers, on our telephones and iPads.

Besides all the good this modern creation does to us, it has a dark side that we can’t abstain from. We shake with the desire to see what others are upto, especially the ones who are not in our close circle. Like a fetish looking to satisfy its hunger we log in to see how much fun, love and travel we haven’t been able to have at that moment. The photo albums full of Frances, Greeces, Spains and Italys and the status updates with numerous comments are all there forcing us to think that we haven’t done anything notable lately. We are driven to do more to be satisfied with our achievements. We take the time to use our forgotten digital cameras and hope to catch that “Facebook pic”. Like many other creations of our time, more is no longer enough here.

Zuckerberg made it happen and he is now beyond his school’s corridors. Like all my comrades, I start the office day with Facebook with a side of CNN, Bloomberg and essential Turkish News. It is not the world news that makes an impact in my tiny universe but the news from my extended social circle. It is not the mine rescues, wars, famines or politics that force me to log back in but the ever changing real life updates of other friends.

I wish it was otherwise.

• If you think New York has restaurants in every corner, come see Seoul. It is either a 7eleven or a karaoke bar if it is not a restaurant. Food spots are everywhere grilling ducks, steaks and frying seafood, vegetables, fruits and anything else digestible. Slices of fresh white onion soaked in a special vinegar-like sauce are the most favored side dish together with spicy lettuce. The heavy smell is obviously unavoidable. Great taste is not hard to find. If you can’t make it to Seoul, try Woo Lae Oak in New York. It is a fancy replica of the traditional Korean restaurants (although it skipa some of the traditional dishes).

• From fancy restaurants to small food shacks, you will run into places that require you to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. It is better if you pick an “easy” shoe for the journey.

• The Koreans do not have desert as part of their meal and there is never any bread. I found out that they have always had a problem producing domestic sugar since there isn’t much land to cultivate on. They were without it until they could start importing 200 years ago. So other than fruits and chestnuts their cuisine failed to excel in the world of sweet sensations.

• Yes Starbucks, domino’s, pizza huts and McDonald’s are everywhere if you miss some of that fast-food.
• Korean breakfasts are mainly made up of sushi and rice (if your belly can pull it off). I preferred getting some of that old cereal and milk at one of the big supermarkets where you can taste anything cook-able. The Korean culture declines to buy unless it can try first.

• The Koreans are nationalists to the bone. You are lucky if you can spot any foreign brands (other than Louis Vuitton obviously) on the road and anywhere else. Cars are Hyundai, Equus, Kia. Electronics are Samsung or LG.
• Trying to speak in English is a fun activity here. Maybe a mere 10% know the language (even in shopping centers where tourists are abundant). If you attempt to speak. They will listen. Won’t understand a word and reply in Korean. You can definitely re-shoot your own much better “lost in translation” here.
• Simplicty. Not going beyond necessity. Minimizing showing off is how I can describe the architecture of Seoul. Almost all the buildings are high rises as most of the land is covered in mountains. Multiple plain bridges cross over the river that cut in through the massive city. I haven’t seen any better roads anywhere else around the world. Not a single bump or a hole. The cars glide (if they can find room to speed in the constant heavy traffic).

• I would like to adopt this one little machine found only in this part of the world. It is Cuckoo. The best steamed rice maker I have encountered so far.

• These guys are navigation freaks. Some cars have double screens. I kept thinking Musa would fit in here quite well with his obsession on the same matter.

• The toilet seats are the most advanced. Almost all are electronic with seat heaters, washers and dries. Your bottom has never been this groomed and happy! As you can tell, the images help a lot. Too bad the seats do not self-clean to ensure maximum hygiene.

• You haven’t seen any better massage chairs. These crazy black leather monsters cover you better than a seatbelt and do not leave a single spot on your back untouched.

• One of the most complicated languages I encountered after Hungarian. You can never tell whether they are loving or hating each other listening to their conversation.
• Almost 80% of the Korean words are pronounced with this seductive, erotic DA at the end. It is as if they are hissing you an invitation to relax. It tends to get a little annoying after a few Korean TV commercials.

• The flights from Istanbul to Seoul are at midnight. It is perfect as you don’t force yourself to sleep like you do on the flights to the Americas. You naturally dream for a big portion of an approximately 11 hour flight.
• The Turkish Airlines flight to Seoul is clearly stuck in the shadow of the New York flights. The food is mediocre. Although the flight is 11 hours the flight attendants insist that it is still not considered a “long flight” and resist to provide any snacks in between the dinner and breakfast. The crew’s hospitality is nothing compared to the one you find on the Asian hemisphere.