Sinanation

GRINGOOO!

Consider Salento as a modified island attached to the tip of the Italian Peninsula, giving access to two coasts that have been the Paradise of Europe for centuries: The Mediterranean and the Aegean coasts. Both are abundant with wide white sandy beaches with shallow waters similar to the ones we, the Turks, find in Cesme. Small private beach operators who rent the land from the government for multiple years manage most bays. No matter what it is the law to reserve some portion of the beaches to public access. All the private beaches charge approx. EUR 20 for two lounge chairs and an umbrella and anything ordered at their bar/restaurant will be extra. Each applies to a different crowd with the type of music and food they provide. If there is a beach party, there will always be a groove-pumping entertainer (something I haven’t seen in anywhere else but Italy) with a microphone next to the DJ addressing the crowd, leading them to let loose and dance.

Do not expect luxurious full-service private hotel beaches in this region like the ones found in Bodrum, Turkey. Beach food will be mediocre, usually served on plastic plates. Wine menu will not be extensive. Yet, the cocktails and the rose will work the magic.

The direction of the wind is the sole factor that determines which coast will be calm, thus more suitable for the day. When these waters are undisturbed there are known to be flatter than a freshly ironed bed sheet. Both coasts are a 30 min. drive from Lecce. Expect to see a lot of vines on the side of the road when you are driving to either coast.

There is a wide range of characters you will run into on any of the beaches you visit in Salento:

• There will be heartbreaking sights of naughty tangas gallantly walking from one end of the beach to the other, happily flirting with your eyes, proudly covering some of the most perfect Italian bodies (who almost never speak English) seen inside the Mediterranean.
• There will be what Andrea and I comfortably refer to as Gringoooo. They will be mostly puny muscled up 20-30 something guys with their tiny white trunks, Gucci shoulder bags, oversized sunglasses, tattoos and plucked eyebrows (Andrea confirmed numerous times “90% are not gay”). They will also be 30 something women with silicone breasts, groomed hair, tattoos, high heels and real tight rears.
• There will be MILFS (mothers I like to f…lirt) who are so attractive that you will have to remind yourself that they are married and have kids.
• There will be large chunks of little kids splashing water everywhere, trying to build that perfect sand castle (that still and will always look unfinished and uglier than imagined).
• There will be overweight expired beef tenderloins that have given up to the pull of the gravity, but still struggle to cover up the breasts letting them sizzle until they are well-done under the hot summer sun.

With all this in mind, here is my list for the beaches of Salento:

1. Bonavista - The best beach to chill

2. Togo Bay - And the party skyrockets with the most popular song of the Italian Summer 2010…Waka Waka this time for Africa!

3. Zen - Time to splash the Proseccos

4. La Caciulara – The best mix of white sand and crisp water carressed together on a secluded corner away from any wind or currents

5. Paradise Beach - Simply the best food found on a Salento beach topped with the most beautiful MILFS of Salento

6. I Duo Mori

7. Bacino Grande - Think Buenavista, but increase the crowd’s age by 25….Welcome to Bacino Grande

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 11th, 2010 at 11:00 and is filed under Salento, Italy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.