8,089 km.

It is a really weird feeling to go back to your parents’ home and not see it as your actual home anymore. This seems to be especially true for the ones like me, living overseas, away from family.

Up until the point you walk in through the entrance door, you assume that life here must have frozen right after you left. Yet, you see parts of the home renovated, furniture changed and neighbors moved. You can no longer find the things you are looking for, your eyes closed. There are too many people under one roof. You are not used to the crowd: too many moving particles, too many questions. You remember you were almost all alone where you came from. You had your space.

The whole house is excited to have you back. The childhood photos pop up on racks, smiling directly at you. The food you love the most is ready to be served. Everyone, including you, have taken extra time to look good for another. Besides a few gray hair and tiny wrinkles on the face, age is not there to remind you that you have been away. You are certainly not used to this much tolerance and care. Grandma does not stop you when you reach for a second round of deserts. Sister lets you borrow all her DVDs and comes  around to hug you more than once a day, something you wished you always had. You catch mom gazing into your eyes unexpectedly. You ask if something is wrong and she answers you with a kiss and a shy smile. You are pampered as if you are at a 5-star hotel. Fresh bed sheets and puffy pillows in your bed are only missing those little chocolate bars you find in hotel beds.

Rather than testing to see if this hotel you used to call home has now a concierge service, you leap onto your bags, fresh out of the airport. You open your closets, which are now partially filled with out-of-season clothes and start decorating them with the stuff you brought back. You quickly give away all the gifts and sweets. Once done with unpacking, you run into the shower to get rid of that unique plane odor. Back in the bedroom, you feel a little relieved. The desperate attempts to win back your nest stat to work through your system. You feel you have broken the surreal dream you walked into. You instantly fight back the jet lag and the strangeness of your bed with an extra dose of sleeping pills. You fall  asleep where you grew up only to finally wake up feeling like you are home again.

The first night will be the start of a few day marathon where you will move back to what you found the hardest to leave. You will slowly get used to the  idea of finding your bed made every morning. You will be speechless to see the breakfast already prepared. You will become addicted once again to having all your clothes ironed with that irresistible homey scent. The refrigerator will always be filled with delicious food even if you skip grocery shopping. The convenience of fast-food will finally make way for home-cooked meal.

You will arrive as a tourist, but you will leave a resident. The hardest part of the transformation will be saying “goodbye” to all until you meet once again.